Top 10 Things Mike Will Be Sharing with Us at the Bar After Hockey

The e-mail come's late on Wednesday night.

"I have something special I would like to share with all of you after hockey at the bar, so please attend. Cheers." 

Mike, our in-house comedian and regular prankster sends out this message to all the guys attending our Thursday "pick-up" ball hockey night.

There has been a definite lack of attendance for past few weeks so this big announcement is peeking everyone's interest to ensure that we all attend to find out what this "special something" is. Is it news? Is something he's actually going to show us? It's obvious he's not going to tell us via e-mail or "share" anything during hockey but, instead, will wait until we get to the bar for beer and wings to make his "something special" known.

So, leaving us to guess what that “something special” is, from the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska , here are the top 10 things Mike will be sharing with us at the bar after hockey:

Things you should know about Mike before reading on - He's a bus driver for the City of Mississauga, he recently went to Cuba with the guys and he is follicly challenged.

10. That he not only has a right testicle but that he also has two left ones.

9. A picture of the Cuban housekeeper he knocked-up. 

8. Collection of lint from the coin box on his bus route.

7. The patch of hair above the crack of his ass he plans to transplant on his head.

6. Mississauga employees' best kept secret – Hazel MaCallion’s face is actually a topographical map of the city.

5. A blister he got from sitting on his ass all day that looks like the Virgin Mary.

4. That he’s in love with a man nearly twice his age. Don't know what it is, but its a hit from his youthful days.

3. He got a penile implant and is pursuing his dreams to be a gay porn star.

2. He’s converting to Islam and would like to be referred to as "Abid Ali Mohamed Fawzan".

1. A tattoo on his inner thigh of Ricky Martin licking his two left testicles.

I have a feeling that the attendance will be up this week. Maybe that's his only intention. Whatever happens, I have to at least thank him for the inspiration for my first blog.


Follow up:
Mike's big surprise was a visit from our long, lost friend Nelson Cardoso. Apparently, the rumours of Nelson running off to a monastery in southern France to teach the Friar's the art of mating geko's and milking their teets for penance are not true (I know, geko's don't have teets... neither do friars). He's alive and well! Mostly... or barely as the case may be. He's been busy running his new store Tails and Scales. It's pet boutique for exotic animals. Check it out!